It’s that time of year again. January 1. A day when everyone starts talking about their resolutions for the new year. Gyms, fitness centers, organization, new hobbies, new goals…new us?
I am not a planner. Some of that is by nature, some by nurture. Some of it is simply the life I lead. I am married to a dreamer, an entrepreneur. Since I met, fell in love, married, and bore him 6 children, he has had at least 8 jobs. He is a responsible, hard-working, man of integrity, but he will always be searching and dreaming.
If I was a planner, how would that work?
Because of who I am, I am able to be who he needs. And I trust him and this journey that I’m on with him with every breath I take.
I also have 5 kids. Because they are active little suckers (I mean, sweethearts), there is a necessary amount of scheduling and planning that must occur. Or else I would end up lying in the middle of my kitchen floor sucking my thumb and twirling my hair to the tune of Barney.
But I try to be as flexible as I can get away with. Some of our favorite times together are spontaneous dinners at the playground, baking experiments at 8 pm, or making flubber together an hour before Christmas Eve gifting.
If I was too focused on my schedule, would I be there when they really needed me?
I have a large house. It is such a blessing. I especially love it because we can host large gatherings for our friends and family. AND I can send my children to separate areas where I (almost) can’t hear them. But it is a BEAR to maintain. (poor bears…get such a bum rap) And while I really don’t mind cleaning, the rooms are never all clean at the same time.
To be that clean, which games would I have to give up with my boys? Should I not play Super Mario with Ty who will be in school all day next year? Should I not sit down with Colt and watch his 90 performances of the same Wiggles song over and over? Should I not color with Ian?
So I will begin 2012 with the same attitude I ended 2011. I will “go with the flow.” I will schedule what I need to, plan for what I must, clean when I can, and somehow in the midst of all of that, live and laugh and love.
A resolution is the “act or process of resolving.” So in 2012 I resolve to continue to be “in process.” I don’t know (I don’t even want to know) what that looks like for me. But I trust the One who walks with me on this little journey. And I’m learning to trust myself.