new year? new me?

It’s that time of year again.  January 1.  A day when everyone starts talking about their resolutions for the new year.  Gyms, fitness centers, organization, new hobbies, new goals…new us? 

I am not a planner.  Some of that is by nature, some by nurture.  Some of it is simply the life I lead.  I am married to a dreamer, an entrepreneur.  Since I met, fell in love, married, and bore him 6 children, he has had at least 8 jobs.  He is a responsible, hard-working, man of integrity, but he will always be searching and dreaming.

If I was a planner, how would that work?

Because of who I am, I am able to be who he needs.  And I trust him and this journey that I’m on with him with every breath I take.

I also have 5 kids.  Because they are active little suckers (I mean, sweethearts), there is a necessary amount of scheduling and planning that must occur.  Or else I would end up lying in the middle of my kitchen floor sucking my thumb and twirling my hair to the tune of Barney.

But I try to be as flexible as I can get away with.  Some of our favorite times together are spontaneous dinners at the playground, baking experiments at 8 pm, or making flubber together an hour before Christmas Eve gifting. 

If I was too focused on my schedule, would I be there when they really needed me?

I have a large house.  It is such a blessing.  I especially love it because we can host large gatherings for our friends and family.  AND I can send my children to separate areas where I (almost) can’t hear them.    But it is a BEAR to maintain.  (poor bears…get such a bum rap)  And while I really don’t mind cleaning, the rooms are never all clean at the same time.

To be that clean, which games would I have to give up with my boys?  Should I not play Super Mario with Ty who will be in school all day next year?  Should I not sit down with Colt and watch his 90 performances of the same Wiggles song over and over?  Should I not color with Ian?

So I will begin 2012 with the same attitude I ended 2011.  I will “go with the flow.”  I will schedule what I need to, plan for what I must, clean when I can, and somehow in the midst of all of that, live and laugh and love. 

A resolution is the “act or process of resolving.”  So in 2012 I resolve to continue to be “in process.”  I don’t know (I don’t even want to know) what that looks like for me.  But I trust the One who walks with me on this little journey.  And I’m learning to trust myself.


2 Responses to “new year? new me?”

  1. Tricia says on :

    This is one of my favorite posts. Made me cry. I resonate. I am glad we are friends and can “go with the flow” together 🙂

  2. LilBS says on :

    me too, friend 🙂

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